Emotional Maturity
Emotional maturity is the improvement in thinking and behavior. It’s not the outcome of age, but a growth process because we are emotional beings and sometimes when our emotions dominate, it’s quite difficult to keep our heads up especially after certain occurrences. That’s why, firstly, we have to learn how to control our emotions. With maturity, we learn to be patient, to listen more and learn to suppress our ego.
Emotional maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values. It is the ability to think, speak, and act on your feelings within the boundaries of dignity. It is knowing when to talk and when not to, when to react and when to be calm, when to calm a troubled situation and make it peaceful.
9 Signs of Emotional Maturity
1. – You forgive more.
2. – You respect differences.
3. – You don’t judge.
4. – You become more open-minded.
5. – You stand up and speak when you can make a difference. You sit down and listen when others can.
6. – You don’t make decisions when tired, or speak when angry.
7. – You don’t compare yourself to others.
8. – You speak nicely about people behind their backs.
9. – You choose to be humble, helpful, and happy.
Acceptance, forgiveness and internalization lead to the opening of the mind kinetics journey to move to higher levels of self-consciousness.
“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” – Frank Zappa
You apologize when you are wrong, or when you’ve made a mistake, or hurt someone unintentionally. Mistakes happen, we are all flawed and imperfect. Too many people think that apologizing weakens us but it actually makes us stronger.
Understanding the Signs of Emotional Maturity
The need to have everyone meet your own set of rules is a recipe for pain. Beginner’s Mind – Humility, curiosity, a willingness to take informed risks (for good) to learn and grow (oneself and others). We all have our uniqueness and what we bring to the table. Believe it!
“Desire (attachment) is the cause of all suffering.” – the Buddha
When you are tired, don’t make any decision, especially important decisions. When you are angry, don’t say anything, just back off till you are calm, then come back to the conversation. This is because you might say things you will regret when you are angry. You need to take some rest in order to re-energize your brain so you can make the right decision and exhaust the negativity of anger.
It takes a certain amount of courage to be alone and to face oneself, because that is where the origin of all our fears lies. Enjoying being alone is a sign of maturity, emotional intelligence, and a certain level of self-esteem. When we are able to appreciate our aloneness, then we become emotionally free and we are more attentive to our hearts. It helps us become better people and improves our self-esteem.
Really, emotional maturity is letting go of our constant need to defend ourselves and please people. It’s an understanding that we are enough and we don’t have to prove that to anyone. It’s also appreciating that everyone else is on their own journey and is experiencing things we know nothing about, and respecting their space to deal with whatever it is they are going through without shame or blame. Yet, it is the ability to comprehend the uniqueness of everyone and their capabilities, and knowing that we’re only meant to chip in/offer valuable insights towards their improvement which is aimed at creating better co-existence.
At what stage do you know if you’ve passed the emotional maturity test?
You know you’ve passed the maturity test at the stage when you no longer engage in any discussion or argument, and you don’t try to prove anything to those who say you’re wrong.
Also, at the point when you know the truth but someone lies to you, and instead of revealing the truth, you leave them to keep lying.
You will realize that you cannot repair the universe. A fool will remain the same no matter how educated he becomes, and so will the stupid.
You will think about things that bother you from time to time, but do not worry; you will return to the royal stage again.
You will walk in the street as a king, giving a cynical smile as you see people peeing and wrestling and deceiving each other for things that are unnecessary and worthless.
You will know very well that the joy of such people does not last and may be an introduction to their future’s sadness.
You will increase your faith in destiny, and you will be sure that God’s choice is best for you.