One Simple Idea on How to Build and Win Back Trust

The Key Component of Building and Winning Back Trust

Generally, trust takes a lot of effort and time to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair. To simply illustrate regaining trust or rebuilding it, try to see how much time it would take you to build a castle with cards. When you finish building it, see how many seconds it would take you to destroy it.

A manager in a previous role used to say, “The trust bucket starts full, and when it is emptied it is hard to re-fill.” From experience, people are at the greatest risk of breaking trust when they chase down personal, short-term gains at the expense of their company or team.

The bricks of trust are carefully and slowly placed on one another to build a wall of trust. It’s fragile and can be demolished in a day and it can only be rebuilt by replacing one brick of trust per day. It’s a visual reminder of the depth and strength of a trust wall.

Looking at how to regain trust from another standpoint; When children fall down, they try to get up and try again but don’t they wonder if they’d fall again? They will feel apprehensive and less confident until they have regained their confidence and will celebrate when they do regain it.

The choice to trust can be immediately actioned but the devastating feeling of loss and suspicion remains. That’s where the true sadness is. Some people trust freely and without reserve and get prepared to the lose it. The true triumph here lies in choosing to keep trusting despite being let down. Just never again to the extent we did with the people who knocked the walk down in the first place.

One of the most valuable assets we can have in life is to be trustworthy. It is worth gold whether in business or friendship or family. When you can trust a person it creates a bond of loyalty that runs deep. Trust is important because it is the basis around which all human relationships revolve.

Below are 4 elements needed to develop trust;

1. Competence
2. Reliability
3. Integrity
4. Communication

One key to these 4 elements is to trust yourself. 

Why? Charity begins at home.

Often times, we think “home” in the statement above is only applicable to our family, neighborhood, or place of work. That’s incorrect. Your first “home” is you, your life. So, if you want trust from people (family, co-workers, clients, etc.), you must trust yourself first. Why? Well, because charity begins at home.

If you don’t trust yourself, it then makes it extremely difficult to gain the trust of others, let alone open the doors of getting to know what they can believe about you. “The more you believe in yourself, the more you can trust yourself. The more you trust yourself, the more integrity and reliability you display.”

James Vena wrote, “Never trade your authenticity for approval! In life, we can either be comfortable or courageous, but we really can’t be both.” You have to rely on your own instincts. That little person in your gut or mind that whispers to you, “Yes, go for it, or no, it’s not the proper time” is you from the vagina. That little voice has lived through everything you have ever done and the results. It remembers every situation and keeps advising you, if you’ve been there before, as to what and what not to do.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn, but you always move forward because worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace. Everyone has a weakness. Strong people know what theirs is. Failure is part of every learning experience and tuning out cynics and dream killers is an absolute necessity to achieving success. Just don’t break the trust and if you have done that once, never do it again.

Trusting yourself and putting the right measures in place is the only way to regain trust.