Honesty is the Best Policy Meaning – A Look on All Sides of the Dice

What Does Honesty is the Best Policy Mean? – A Look at Truthfulness versus Politeness

People often say “It is better to be disliked but respected than it is to be liked but disrespected.” because of the popular quote, honesty is the best policy. But, many power dynamics inherently prevent directly speaking “truth to power.” It is not the absence of fear but something else more important than fear. It requires a lot of courage to tell and standby the truth which could result in being isolated. This draws the insight into the subject of Truthfulness versus Politeness.

in·teg·ri·ty

noun
1.
the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

“he is known to be a man of integrity”

synonyms: honesty, uprightness, probity, rectitude, honor, honorableness, upstandingness, good character, principle(s), ethics, morals, righteousness, morality, nobility, high-mindedness, right-mindedness, noble-mindedness, virtue, decency, fairness, scrupulousness, sincerity, truthfulness, trustworthiness
“I never doubted his integrity”

• Is there a real difference between honesty and politeness

Being polite does not necessarily implies telling a lie. But these days, it seems like that’s what everyone expects. It’s tough being honest in a business world, isn’t it? Especially in a corporate world, but not only, popular opinion also suggest that too much honesty might not always be good too.

Humans are humans after all. Tact is a skill that allows one to handle these tricky situations which involves politeness without falsehood. You don’t admire those that spurt a truth you already know. You admire those that make an effort to say it with tact.

I’m not sure why one must choose between being polite and being honest!? Both politeness and honesty ought to be absolutely non-negotiable.

How to practice the quote Honesty is the best policy effectively

The sayings “Honesty is the best policy” and “Better to be disliked but respected, than….” should not be taken so literally. The gist here is that one should not curry someone’s cooperation by avoiding the truth or acquiescing to outright wrongs. Healthy cooperation must be built on a foundation of mutual respect and sincerity

Being better to be disliked but respected may be true for management and executives. But, in many corporate environments, simple staff members or lower-level employees who speak their minds often become resented, feared, and disliked by managers. It leads to being passed over for promotions, a poor work experience, and eventually unemployment.

When you are disliked, you’ll find it almost impossible to garner the co-operation and goodwill of others. You will cease to be effective as a mobilizer of people. You’ll go around every day lonely, tired, and not feeling particularly great about yourself as a person.

Being kind and being honest live in healthy tension with each other. There is a “right” side to err. It’s situational. The questions to ask when deciding whether it is the right moment to volunteer tough feedback which is the obvious truth are:

1) Will it help them get better?
2) Are they in a place (physically and psychologically) where they can hear it?
3) Is it something they could improve or control?
4) Do they know I care about them, personally and professionally?

Being Polite versus Being Truthful

Can someone like you but not respect you? No relationship is static. Relationships are dynamic. Knowing when and how to confront it with truth is one of those great skill sets. We all have a part of us that wants folks to like us, and we want to please people as well.

Sometimes, honesty should be sprayed with a hint of politeness. If people have no filter, then chaos would reign. Although transparency is admirable, a wise person should know when and how to convey a given reality.

Why? Your bluntness can come off as rudeness, which will definitely trigger an adverse response: loss of respect and lack of likability. In the end, honesty is the best policy, and even policies have rules engraved in them.

Being polite and truthful has its significance. A person who speaks the truth, a hard truth, is a person who truly cares – and such a person, because of a true statement, should not be characterized as rude. As Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote it ”Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.”

What is the point of having a voice if you will remain silent in those moments “You shouldn’t be.” It is better to be honest and ethical even though it is a bumpy ride.

How do we get to being liked and respected when sticking to Honesty is the best policy?

Like yourself. Show respect to others by speaking the truth with love. Those alive to that will both like and respect you. It all starts with Self.

Being honest to oneself, is key and to constantly introspect if one is acting based on fact or on opinions. The latter seems to be true in most cases where people conflate opinion with fact and act righteously (according to them) and self-righteously according to most others.

Pursue respect over popularity! You achieve that respect by being kind, not nice. When we try to be nice, we are concerned how others see us and whether or not they like us. When we are kind, we are truthful and authentic, caring more about the other person.

This is especially relevant to women and any other “minority”. To achieve respect, not only do we focus on kindness, but also on integrity and all that it entails.

On Speaking the Truth to Power

When speaking truth to power, what honesty is the best policy means is to know you are never in control of how it will be perceived/received by someone above you. Do it without fear, but sincerely and politely so you can afford to walk away if unjustly attacked.

If you cannot afford it (fear holding you back?), still do it, do it sincerely with respect to power. Honesty is the best policy. It provide safety to the ego’s involved (meaning in a one-on-one setting versus public drama) or find whoever has the ear of the leader to channel the message. When done right, Checklists, Project plans and Metrics are great influence tools that helps a team review process or bad news together and influence the outcome, regardless of title or rank (HIPPO effect) getting in the middle.

Every leader secretly appreciates a lieutenant, who gives them the bad news first and fast, using unvarnished truth. Trust doesn’t justify intent. Forced respect doesn’t work for either party.

Affection without respect shows a lack of understanding and ego-centrism of the person who professes it. Circumstantial truth is manageable, and that does not justify the intention of the one who takes advantage of it.

‘Deliver bad news first, good news can and will find me later’ – Anonymous.

If you are a leader who is too narcissistic to hear anything but good news and praise, or demonstrates Persian messenger syndrome regularly when bad news is delivered, you are not going to be a successful leader in the long run. Organizations that punish honesty by vilipending and prevarication, are not strategically optimized.