This unit group includes workers who sell goods or services during home demonstrations or by telephone soliciting, retail exhibitions or street vending. They are employed by a wide range of retail and wholesale establishments, manufacturers, telemarketing companies and call centres, or they may be self-employed. Main duty of a telephone solicitor is to contact random persons who may fortunately be potential customers by phone or through personal contacts if need be, demonstrate and sell products directly to individual customers via call and deliver purchased goods to customers if successful.
— Telephone solicitors are also hired beyond product marketing.
So here we got 10 Ways to Get a Telephone Solicitor to Hang-up on You
10. Speak Chinese. You don’t actually have to know any Chinese to do this, fake it. In the unlikely event that the solicitor puts someone on the line who speaks Chinese, switch immediately to Greek. You don’t need to speak Greek, either.
9. Pretend to be drinking a fifth of really potent liquor. Get drunker and drunker as the conversation proceeds; weep profusely and unintelligibly about your miserable life until you reach a state of slobbering incoherence. Contemplate suicide aloud.
8. Play some Bob Marley music as background. Take deep breaths and talk while holding your breath. Keep losing the thread of the conversation and laugh hysterically at inappropriate moments. Vehemently insist that Jerry Garcia is not dead.
7. Scream a curse-word into the receiver, then apologize profusely, explaining that you suffer from Tourette’s syndrome (a psychomotor disorder that causes the victim to shout curse words; these uncontrollable curses are usually monosyllabic, but the solicitor probably doesn’t know this, so you can get fairly elaborate). Curse violently about every 30 seconds, and then apologize profusely. If you’re good at this, the solicitor will take lots of abuse before hanging up.
6. Hock a big, gross wad of throat snot. Do it as frequently and as loudly as possible, focusing the sound right into the receiver. If the solicitor says anything, tell him/her that you are undergoing chemotherapy for throat cancer and can’t help it.
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5. Get into an angry quarrel with your spouse/house-mate. If you don’t have a spouse/house-mate, then pretend to get into an angry quarrel with someone present in the room. Involve the solicitor in the argument; try to get him/her to take sides.
4. When the solicitor informs you that “this call may be monitored for purposes of quality control,” direct all of your comments to that third person who is supposedly listening. You can become very paranoid, demanding to know who the listener works for, insisting that you know what their agenda really is, yelling that they might get you but they’ll never get away with it. Or, proffer a running critical commentary on the solicitor’s performance: “Excellent introduction but choppy segue. Notice the tonal modulation, the patience; unfortunately, the script lacks depth and is weakly written.”
3. Try to save the solicitor’s soul. If the solicitor claims to be a Christian, say, “Oh no, I represent the true church, the Church of Satan.” As a selling point, you can mention the many creative uses of young virgins at black masses.
2. Engage in explicit phone sex. The gender of the solicitor is a matter of indifference. (Chutzpah!) This method is especially effective with solicitors from the Fraternal Order of Police (don’t worry, they’re not cops), Fire Dept., or any same-sex solicitor who is vigilantly heterosexual.
1. Pretend that someone is going down on you as you converse: “You say the terms of the warranty – oh yesss – state that the provider is responsible – oh baby baby – for all services during the – harder baby, harder….” If you’re really good at this, the solicitor may not hang up, just become very quiet.
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